


Break Me (Heal Me)

by professor_min



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Angst Smut, Charming Jinyoung, Cheesy BamBam, F/M, Heartbreak, Hotels, Hurt/Comfort, Lots of Crying, M/M, Original Character(s), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Romance, Smooth Jaebum, Smut, Weddings, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6663649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/professor_min/pseuds/professor_min
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Youngjae didn't expect to be this tormented before over a heart break but God have other plans for him.</p><p>a.k.a Youngjae is broken into pieces cause of a heartbreak but comes a certain stranger that mends him back together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hi! I'm new to AO3 and you can call me prof or Min for short cause wth is with my username but I have a thing with Yoongi being a professor and- okay. So this is my first(?) got7 fanfiction cause I used to write other idols' fanfiction. I hope you don't mind the pretty late updates cause uni life is just hectic af. Anyways, enjoy!

Chapter 1: Please don’t come back

“Have a good day sir”

The blonde haired man bowed towards the man across the receptionist counter with a small pleasant smile on his lips before pulling the chair behind him with his foot, letting it roll closer to him and sat down quietly. His eyes flickered towards his phone on his right and he stared at it with a blank look but he snapped out of it from the familiar voice in front of him. “Good morning, Youngjae!” He beamed with a bright smile on his face as he leaned onto the counter with his arms crossed in front of his chest.

“Good morning to you too, Jackson hyung”, he replied with another small smile on his lips then looked down at the documents on the desk, taking a black fountain pen from the stationary holder to start doing his work. Jackson pursed his lips together as he gets on his toes, trying to look over the counter and peer onto his work. “So have you found a suit yet?” Youngjae only shook his head, not letting his eyes leave the paper as he filled in some of the blank spaces and signed here and there on the papers.

“What? Youngjae, come on. You’re invited to the wedding too. You’re not gonna be the manager for a night! A night. Do you know what that means, Youngjae? That means you would get to –“

“Get laid”

“Get laid”

Jackson stared at the blonde friend of his with his mouth agape. “Did you just finish my sentence? Are you a psychic, Youngjae?” He snorted at the older, finally leaving his attention from the paper to look at Jackson. “No, hyung. You have been saying the same thing since the last two weeks. Also, I am delighted with my non-psychic ability, hyung. I wouldn’t want to know the future” Youngjae twirled the pen in between his forefinger and middle finger, causing the ring band around the middle finger glint under the bright light.

Seemingly disappointed at Youngjae’s answer, Jackson just huffed before resting his chin on his forearm and looked at him with a small pout on his lips but soon after, his facial expression changed into worrisome as he remembered something really important. “Uh Youngjae… I gotta tell you something but…” He let his sentence trailed off, seemingly very disturb and nervous on telling this something to Youngjae.

He narrows his eyes as he observed the older male, finding it new to see the upbeat man to be so nervous which was a rare sight. The only time Jackson was to ever get nervous with Youngjae was the time he had accidentally burned a hole on his textbook that Jackson had borrowed from Youngjae. 

Until now, he still doesn’t know why or how even managed to burned a hole in the pages of his textbook. Yet again, anything can happen when it comes to Wang Jackson. This however, brings a whole new level. He has a bad feeling about this.

“Spill it”

All honorifics flew out the window once Youngjae set his eyes on his hands that are clasping and twisting each other as Jackson tries to find the right words. “Okay. Before you freaked out or anything, please do understand that they have their own reasons and this is not my decision to tell you this at all. This was all their idea!” 

He was slowly running out of patience as he keeps on listening to Jackson’s ramble, almost slamming the pen down but he decide otherwise or else he would have probably had to clean the desk later due to the flowing ink of a broken pen and god, would he hate seeing a mess right now.

“For god sakes hyung. Just say it already”

“He’s coming to the wedding!”

“Who do you mean by ‘he’ Jackson…?”

Jackson knew that if Youngjae had dropped all of the honorifics that mean the younger male are not going to like what he is going to hear next. “He as in him, Youngjae. You don’t want me to say his name but you know already by now who I’m referring to” he said with a solemn look on his face before pushing himself off the counter and walk pass the small door to stand next to Youngjae who seemed to froze in time.

“Youngjae…” The black haired man lifted a hand to place it on Youngjae’s shoulder but before he was able to put his hand close to him, Youngjae had stood up from his seat. His face was stoic but the ends of his pink lips were pulled down, showing a sign of frustration, anger and annoyance. “I thought that shithead won’t come back anymore” He grumbled under his breath but the end of his sentence was slightly quivering and he gulped down a forming lump in his throat.

The older friend of his clams up immediately and pursed his lips in a straight line as a que for him to stay quiet. He didn’t move until Youngjae said so, telling him to get back to work and Jackson left with worry spreading in his chest. He wouldn’t do anything stupid right? Shit… I should call him after his shift.

A few minutes after Jackson left the reception desk, Youngjae took a shuddering breath and turn around to head to the staff room which was behind him. He pushed the door open with shaking palms; the creaking of the door that usually annoys him sounded deafening as if everything became so loud. He stumbled in and told a trainee that he passed by to look out for guests. It was a good thing that today wasn’t a busy day.

Youngjae sits down in the corner of the room where it is a blind spot from most of the staffs that entered in the room to grab some things. He stayed quiet for a minute, making sure that the room was empty before bursting into fat and hot tears that drops onto his trousers. His fists clenches tightly, the silver band on his middle finger glistening; his blunt nails leaving indents into his pale skin and his shoulders shook as he sobbed quietly in the staff room that is full of papers and dusts.


	2. I'm still crying over you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Youngjae lead his life. Alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super slow chapter for this one;; I am so sorry but I am still working on revealing the story step by step! Enjoy!

The sounds of jiggling keys rang in the quiet night as he unlocked the door to his small apartment, swinging it open once unlocked and he closed the door back; dropping the keys onto the small black tray on his shoe rack. He slipped out of his shoes and went straight to his room; the shuffling of his socked feet was unheard of as he walked like a ghost.

The worn out bag left on the foot of the bed leave a dull thud on the wooden panel as he mindlessly let it slipped off his shoulders. Youngjae brought himself to the bed after taking off his navy blue coat and trousers, letting it pool next to the bag and thought for once that he would clean it up tomorrow morning as his energy was completely drained.

He laid his body on the mattress that creaks under his weight after putting on some ratty sweatpants and pulled the covers over himself up to his chin. The cold night feels colder as he stares up at the ceiling of his room, a small memory of his past flashed in his eyes. He gulps down a small lump in his throat for the umpteenth time for the day and turns onto his right side to stare at the dull white painted wall.

Youngjae’s eyes were wide awake despite his body was crying from exhaustion from a long and tiring day at work. He reached over to the foot of his bed to fish out his phone from his bag before lying back down on his side. The plastic screen brightens in the dark room that had only been illuminated by the street lamp near his window as he presses the home button on the bottom and swipes to unlock it.

He touches the screen as he looks at the wallpaper of his phone, showing a man’s face that seemed asleep at the moment. His chest feels heavy all of a sudden and so was his breathing. The eyesight of his blurred from the sudden tears that wells in his eyes. Youngjae curse out under his breath as he rubs his damp cheek with a palm of his hand.

“What am I even doing…?”

He whispered to himself and swipes onto the next home screen to click on the playlist button. The blonde man click on a playlist titled “Therapy” with his thumb and he quietly heaved out a sigh as he hears the familiar voice of a singer. James Blunt’s Goodbye My Lover. It had always been able to soothe him down despite the lyrics that are literally about a break up. Oh the irony...

It took him a few songs of K.Will’s and Lee Hi’s before he has managed to fallen asleep, the screen of his phone dimmed and turned dark and the songs in the playlist continued to play on throughout the whole entire night until the next morning where Youngjae wakes up to the song he had fallen asleep to. House of Card’s.

That morning was normal. Youngjae pushed himself off the bed to shower and eat his breakfast before slipping on his fresh uniform, straightening the coat that he had buttoned up and took the bag off the floor. He took his phone off the already neatly made bed, checking the battery and he cursed inwardly as he sees that he is only left with 38%. He shoved his phone into the bag, not even bothering to bring his charger to work as he thought to himself that no one would actually call him unless needed.

It’s not like he would be out of his working place anyway. Youngjae had been working at the hotel for three years already. He practically stayed glued to his chair at the reception desk, greeting the guests of the five rated star hotel and does his job to perfection. The manager have a soft spot on him so even if no one would be able to reach him after the death of his phone’s battery, he wouldn’t get punished badly.

Youngjae walked to work. It was only a few blocks away and walking had always been his liking since the start. As he enters the hotel through the back door, he greeted the staffs as he usually would in the wee early morning and smiled politely at the superiors who tell him the same thing every morning.

_“You’re such a hard working lad, young man!”_

He has nothing against his seniors and he is completely fine with receiving compliments but the way that they touched him had always been a trouble to Youngjae. They had never touched him in any inappropriate places but they tend to pat his head or back and that tends to trigger a memory he wants to bury in the back of his mind forever. _Even when you’re gone, you still managed to haunt me._

The blonde man put his bag in his locker, leaving his phone in it as well as he deemed it useless at the moment since the battery life is ending in the next few hours. They could always contact him through the hotel phones anyway. He took a breath and closed the locker, pressing his palm against the thin metal as he tells himself quietly to put his head up and smile for the guests. _Don’t show your weakness, Youngjae._

Youngjae nodded to no one but him and straightens his back to fix his navy coat again. He looked down and checked the iron crisped trousers before straightening the slightly crooked name tag on the top left breast pocket. Choi Youngjae. His name bolded and carved into the gold name tag. His fingers lightly caresses the carving, his eyes seemingly changed from the dull dark brown to something dark and determine. He licked his chapped lips before making his way to the door, twisting the doorknob to open it and he left the room with a straight face and his phone that was now vibrating in his old bag in his locker.

_He won’t break me anymore._

_He can't hurt me._

_I’m never wasting my tears on you again._


	3. It's not easy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was never easy to let go of someone who have left you, especially the one who have burned and imprint into your soul.
> 
> Especially, when he had hurt you so much to the point you can never be fixed again.
> 
> Especially, when he never said that he was sorry.
> 
> It's not easy for Youngjae.
> 
> It never was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! I'm sorry for the super delay updates. It's kinda hard to write and update while going through a short semester packed with quizzes, exams, assignments and projects but I'm trying my best to update as fast as I can! I'm sorry if it seemed shorter compared to other chapters... actually, it's three pages long and I don't know why it looked so short in here but- eh
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! It's slowly revealing to the main plot of the whole story and I can't wait to get started to the drama and angst cause /whispers/ I enjoy angst so much ouo I'm sorry my sunshine Youngjae boo.
> 
> Oh! And thank you to those who give me kudos! I didn't expect to get kudos already and thank you to the lovely people who read this super slow update fanfiction, including to those who comments! I appreciate all your support and love <3
> 
> \- Min

 

“Youngjae, my man!”

Jackson waved with both hands in the air while standing up at a table for four, the gleeful look on his face made Younjae think that his lips might split from all the smiling. He only responded back by raising his brows, his feet lightly shuffling against the wooden floor before sitting down across his still smiling friend. “Dude, I have been trying to get a hold of you almost the whole entire day. You won’t believe what happened to me after lunch break”

His fists were in the air and flinging around next to his chest, reminding Youngjae of how much of a high school girl Jackson could be. Being a great friend of his, he only kept his mouth shut and shrugs of the coat off his shoulders, hanging it around the back of the chair while silently encouraging for Jackson to continue on his daily life adventure.

“Okay, okay. So there was this really cute fluffy Himalaya cat strolling in the lobby-“

“So that’s why my nose has been runny for the day” Youngjae mumbled after giving a terse thank you to a waitress who comes over to hand him the menu. He casually flipped through the menu without actually scanning through it as he remembers the menu by heart. Who is he kidding? This is the best fried chicken restaurant ever; hands down, bow down. _I would like to applause to the person who started this restaurant. Bless you._

 

“And I was chasing her down cause some of the guests were scared of cats-“

“That and your friend here is allergic to fur”

“Can you stop cutting me off?”

 

The brunette raises his hands in surrender before placing them down on the inside of his crossed forearms, watching Jackson with much expectation as he waits for him to continue on blabbering about his exciting days. Jackson gave him a thank you with a rather silly face that made Youngjae’s lips quirked by its ends which drops into a straight line after a few milliseconds.

“So as I was saying, I was chasing her down cause of the guests and this dear friend of mine is allergic to fur”, he pointed out his forefinger with pouty lips then continues on, “and there was this really cool guy appear out of nowhere, dressed in rompers and joggers and let me get this straight, Youngjae. He is wearing the limited edition Nike shoes that only has a few pairs in the whole world! And he just easily picks up the cat with his beautiful strong hands- unf”

The younger man only stared at the other person with a straight face, not finding any amusement in today’s story. “So what you’re trying to say is that you suck at chasing cats out of the building, hyung?” Youngjae questioned with a nonchalant tone of a voice which Jackson reacted in a very much Jackson way. “You rude child!” He leaned over and smacked Youngjae across the back of his head which he earned a hissed in returned.

“What I’m saying is that there is a hot ass guy in the hotel that I think you guys will meet up one day” Jackson picked up a glass of cold beer off the table then pointed at Youngjae again with his brows raised, giving a suggestive look that he is sure that Jackson’s boyfriend will smack him in the face for it. “All the guests are usually fat old men or prissy women who see nothing but money in their husbands’ bank accounts. So why not have a hot man in a hotel?” He only scrunched up his nose as answer while he raised a hand to call over for the same waitress to order his late dinner.

The shift for the day ended quickly than he had expected. He reasoned that maybe it’s because he was focusing on his job a lot today and the fact that today is rather busy during the morning till afternoon due to a conference meeting. There were a lot of people with rank and status checking in and out throughout the entire day and his feet was screaming and is surprisingly not dead yet by the time his shift ended. As his plate of drumsticks covered with honey BBQ glazed was presented to him, he immediately grabbed a piece and eats it as if he hadn’t eaten for days.

However, Jackson just had to break his inner peace when he nudged Youngjae’s foot under the table with a curious look. “You still didn’t tell me why you didn’t pick up your phone Youngjae. Why did you turn off your phone?” That made the younger man stopped his entire ‘eating show’ as he remembered that his phone was probably dead by now. He put his half eaten chicken aside and wiped his fingers against a napkin before reaching over for his bag and searched for his phone. He pulled it out once it was found and pressed on the home button, grimacing as the screen didn’t light up.

“The battery is dead, hyung” He showed it to the other as proof which he earns a nod and a judging look on Jackson’s face. “You should really get a portable phone charger Youngjae. I mean like seriously. What if you were in dire need of help and you needed to call the cops or an ambulance? You need to keep your phone with a charged battery, and not depleted and dried like the soup at the hotel. I feel bad for Mark but I’m proud of him because he has such talented hands, culinary wise and bed wise”

“Ew… what the hell, hyung? I do not need to know anything about your sexual life with Mark hyung” Youngjae threw his phone onto the table as he kept his disgusted face and contemplated if he should eat his chicken or not since he felt his stomach churn from the thoughts of having his two friends making out and getting all touchy. “Shush, my child. My sex life with Mark is as important as your sex life” Jackson pointed out with a serious look on his face and one thing for sure about Youngjae is that he never liked it when this particular friend of his has a serious face.

“So Youngjae, are you really gonna keep your ass virgin after the last time you had sex which was what…? Has it been two years already? Jesus, Youngjae!”

“I don’t want to have sex with anyone else, Jackson hyung”

His older friend only musters a breath before leaning forward with his elbows on the table, staring right into Youngjae’s eyes. “Look, my dear Youngjae. It has been three years since you guys broke up. He’s a shithead, I agree but having sex with another man or woman, regardless what their gender is, won’t make it seem like you are cheating on him” Jackson took his beer and leans back, taking a few sips then mumbling around the rim of the glass, “As much as he is my friend too, I disagree with his actions, Youngjae. He should have ended it well with you rather than dropping the bomb. You need to get over him-“

“Well I can’t get over him, hyung” Youngjae interrupted with his hands clenched into tight fists; his eyes hardened with a light glaze of unshed tears and lips pursed into a straight line. “As much as I wanted to, I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t forget about him and I won’t forgive him” He hissed with his jaw clenched as he grabbed his own glass of beer and chugged down half of its contents, dropping it down with a loud thud onto the table.

Jackson’s heart shattered at the look on his best friend’s face. The look of his was far too crestfallen and ill-starred; it hurt him so much even though he was not in Youngjae’s place. He took a deep breath and reached for Youngjae’s fist, and gave a light squeeze of his lightly trembling hand. Youngjae may look tough and cold on the outside but he is nothing but a broken and lost young man, trapped in the world of misery and agony. Jackson uncurls his fingers and holds Youngjae’s hand, palm by palm, giving him a look of understanding with a small quirk of his lips and Youngjae could not have been grateful to have such a kind friend like him.

The rest of the night was spent with no words between them as they settled into a comfortable silence. All they did was eat and drink lots of beer, getting wasted for the first time after a few months. Youngjae didn’t know or remember exactly how he ended up getting back to his ratty apartment in one piece but he remembers a few snippets of him walking down a few streets and getting onto a bus with his wobbly legs, bumping into a few people and barked back towards the neighborhoods dog that always love to bark at him in the wee early morning.

He didn’t even remember how he managed to plug in the charger to his phone’s port and charge it for the rest of the night. Despite his barely subconscious mind, he was still able to turn on one of the playlist he had in the media player and let it play when he was asleep till the next morning. Waking up with a hangover was bad enough but waking up with one missed call, one voicemail and one text message from his ex-lover was causing his head to throb even harder and his phone dropped to the floor with another crack added to the broken screen.

 

_Beep…_

_“Hey, it’s me. I think you already found out that I’m coming back to Seoul for Yugyeom’s and BamBam’s wedding. See you at the wedding”_

_Text is received at 3:56 a.m._

_Date: 5 th of February_

_From: Shithead J_

 

_“I guess you’re busy since you’re not calling me back but I’m just gonna say that I’m at the airport already. It’ll be nice to see you again after a few years. Bye”_


End file.
